I am sorry

I have been missing in action for a while … It has been some time since I poured my heart out. Well … I was busy experiencing life. I was busy doing NOTHING and trust me, I have never felt this vaporous before. It is not as if I support sitting ideal at home; nothing is farther from truth … But yes, I advocate taking occasional breaks just to reduce the pace at which we lead our life. Living out of a suitcase and working non-stop sounds exciting and there are times when it is exciting, however, it is only when you sit down and converse with your body, do you realise how tired it is. Your mind will cheer you and so will your ego … But … your body will not!! Mine didn’t. It has often spoken with me … Banished me for being a rambunctious child. It has called me names and has often accused me of being ungracious. It warned me of its failing strength but I never paid any heed to it … And today … I am paying for being ingrate. As I take a trip down the memory lane, I am pained to see the manner in which I have abused it … Endless sleepless nights when I thought I was indispensable, gulps of black coffee to stay awake, treating my own stomach as a junkyard (well because I only filled it with junk), taking my eyesight for granted and admonishing it when it turned red due to unshed sleep and tears, expecting my back to stay erect at all times and demanding my knees not to give away despite standing for hours in wretched heels … Yes. I have abused it and its time I apologize to it for being so reckless … I am sorry!! I am sorry for ill-treating you … I am sorry for taking you for granted. I am sorry for pushing you when I should have just heard your cries. I am sorry for being so horrible to you. I should have nourished you; given you adequate rest and sleep; treated you with respect and dignity and should have felt nothing short of absolute gratitude … But I did just the opposite!! I have damaged you in a manner which is irreparable but I also know that if I try hard, I can salvage you from further decay and destruction. If I love you unconditionally, you too shall respond with same affection … I know you most intimately, yet I have hurt you and while I now regret being so oblivious to your pain, I also am aware of your generosity. I know that one day that you shall be happy (once again) to have me living in you …

With love … Sugarsatchet!!