Here is to the child in us …

When we were young, we couldn’t wait to grow up and at this juncture despite desiring desperately we cannot get our childhood back. More than the childhood, what we miss is our innocence, our virginity and our ability to dream. We could dream regardless of reality … We had faith in fairy godmothers and miracles … We could love without judging and feeling judged.

Childhood was beautiful. We could be ourselves without fear … With time, we lost our bravery and courage to our pressures, ambitions and aspirations. The simplicity of asking and expressing faded and in its place was a well-groomed demeanour. The joy of dropping chocolate ice-cream on our new dress eludes us given our obsession with appearing proper at all times and somewhere in our journey from marbles to marbles, we grew up.

Pink rotund face, soiled fingers, dishevelled hair, half open packet of home-made chips and frilly frocks … My childhood was indeed colourful and there are times when I am unable to identify this grown-up whose only aim is to solicit approval from all and sundry.

When fights used to be simple and ego was merely an easy word to spell and remember … When anger was as short-lived as grudges … When bitterness was alien and when summers meant vacations …When the only bank account we had was in the shape of a pig and no one dared to tell us that it was illegal to use that money. What we feared the most was failing an exam and our worst nightmare was getting a bad grade in our report card. Birthday parties with pretty cakes and balloons were the highlights of our lives … Suddenly, all of it has disappeared!! No matter how hard you try, you will not get such simplicity back.

Life has given a lot but in retrospect has taken in an equal measure. All of us struck a deal with life when we were growing up … We asked for treasures shamelessly and treasures we got. However, the treasure didn’t come alone … It came with its own fantods and neither did we have the wherewithal do deal with them nor were we armoured to fight them. Consequently, we choked on our inability … And its life who had the last laugh …

People say you learn through experience. What they forgot to say (or rather cleverly obliterated mentioning) that learning will make you unlearn your rawness … You will never be able to go back to the stage of being “unaware” … I miss unawareness!! I don’t wish to be aware of the horrors of climate change, falling interest rates, real estate crash, Donald Trump’s victory, Syrian war, next EMI alert … I don’t wish to be in the state of awareness.

I could draw a yellow donkey and I would only get smiles … I could get away with eating Maggie which now I am made painfully aware contains MSG and is high glycaemic food. Unfortunately, now I cant go back to the stage of “not knowing such simple facts” …

No matter what we do, we cannot turn the clock back … However, we can attempt to access the child in us … Befriend our younger selves and never let the 4 year old in us die. If only we unshackle ourselves from the pejorative notions once in a while and laugh mindlessly, we will live a happier life with much lesser regret. If we could find joy in simple things, we might be successful in discovering the child in us. Once discovered … Let us promise ourselves never to let go of that child, never to upset that child, never to reprimand that child for dropping food on his/her clothes, never to force that child to grow up …

I am often told that this world has enough kids … Wrong!! This world has enough adults. It is time this world had more kids. Adults, have but, turned this beautiful world into a miserable one …

With love … Sugarsatchet

PS: Sugarsatchet tries her best to pen this post with as much simplicity as she could conjure … She, too, is trying to find the child in her …

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